_ Friendly, hardworking and young at heart….that’s how I remember Inay, my mother-in-law. She was spontaneous and eloquent, she will always say what was in her mind. The matriarch of the Grejalde family, it took us sometime before we developed our closeness and trust with each other.
I had a taste of her spontaneity when one time, she questioned Benjie why he was giving Xylem her morning bath when it was supposed to be my duty while stressing that his job is to work and provide for his family. Before Benjie could reply, I butted in and threw her a question: “Bakit po, nanay lang ba ang may obligasyon na mag-asikaso ng anak? Eh nagtatrabaho din ako ah!” Little did she know that Benjie got used to giving her bath because of the arrangement we have made that in the absence of a maid, with his flexible work schedule, he will take an evening shift so he could look after Xylem at daytime while I was at work. That incident, however, made us closer than apart. I somehow gained her respect and from then on, I never heard any tongue slashes directed to me. We got to know each other more when after my operation in 1995; I stayed in Lian while recuperating. She was sweet in her own way; she would give me panutsa (molded sugar-coated peanuts) and bibingkoy, sticky rice cake stuffed with beans, almost every day as my merienda. She will also share with me her books. She loves to read Filipino paperbacks. “Nakakapagpabata ng puso,” she told me when I asked why she reads those love stories. Inay was an early riser; she’s up in their sugarcane farm at the crack of the dawn, walked her way there. And from the farm, she will buy pan-de-sal for our breakfast and pass by the market to buy fresh produce of either vegetables or fish or meat to be cooked for lunch and dinner. She has things to do all the time of the day. Among her daily routine was the stop to a friend’s house to play bingo in the afternoon. “Papasok na ako,” she will say before going to her bingo sessions. She’s only after the fun and the camaraderie, she said, she did not care about winning or losing. Very seldom you will see her in a serious mood. She was always happy. She knew almost everybody who passed by in front of the house and greet everyone of them. Her evening is capped by watching tele-novelas which she religiously follows. Reading sent her to sleep. A devout Catholic, she went to church and attended novena regularly. She was a devotee of the town’s patron St. John de Baptist. Though she has the command on almost everything in the house, she has not, however, forgotten her wifely duties. She personally looked after the welfare of Tatay when he became bedridden. She always made sure he was comfortable. Long before her death, she told me of her plans how she was going to leave her properties to her children. She wanted to make sure that they will not quarrel and get envious with the share she will leave to each of them. Inay was not used to be hugged and kissed. She felt shy whenever my children expressed their affection to her. She, however, proved to be an endearing lola to them. Every time we visited her, she will prepare their favorite dish of steamed sugpo. Nobody can eat the sugpo until we came. The sugpo has our names written on them, a joke everybody in the house says. And she was generous too. We always have fruits, vegetables, rice and some sweets to bring home to Laguna while the children will get money as her pabaon. I also have my share of her pabaon but with a strict reminder not to tell their dad. On the day she had her accident that led to her death a year ago now; Inay was on her top form and assertiveness. She refused to talk to me when Baby called up to inform me that she was at the hospital. I overheard her saying no and castigated them, “bakit ninyo sinabi sa kanya?” I later learned that her refusal to tell was to ensure that she will not be an added burden to the challenges we were facing that time. She knew that one way or the other, I have to inform Benjie of her situation. I haven’t remember sharing with her our marriage life but I was surprised when, few months before her death, she advised me to attend to my personal life now that the children are all grown-ups. “Tama na ang pagtitiis, malalaki na ang mga bata” were her exact words. Her gesture made me cry. Coming from a mother-in-law, it was something. Thank you Inay for your kindness. You will never know what I have been through but I was happy that you have understood me. And I may never be your real daughter but I have never felt being a stranger from you either. I know you are happier now and living peacefully in His presence.
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AuthorA mother, an aunt, a sister and a friend, they embody Archives
February 2014
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