"Many things in our lives have cycles. Nothing ever stays the same from one minute to the next. We may not like changes in our relationships, for we may expect that any variation from our happy moments will mean pain or loss or rejection. Even in a relationship's dark moments of anger and pain, we may fear changes that can bring happiness, hope and success.
Yet change is a valid measurement of growth and time. It has a natural rhythm as the ebb and flow of the ocean, the change of the seasons, the waxing and waning of the moon, the rise and set of the sun. Tonight we can be assured that our relationships are right where they need to be in their natural places." (from my medidation book Night Light re: relationships)
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One of the most painful feelings is when you realized that you have fallen into a trap of lies and make believe; that you have given your full trust only to be betrayed.
And life is sometimes cruel, just as you have barely recovered from being beaten emotionally, mentally and physically, there comes another blow. Wish life is like a ball game, we can see when the ball is coming and change position or take cover if it is going to hit us. Realities come late and before we knew it, we already succumbed to our vulnerabilities. A gloomy day but the sun is just biding its time to spread its majestic rays again. A blessed day everyone.
We have lived in Oslo for two years and during our stay there, I haven’t remembered any major violence that occurred. While there were some petty crimes of pick pocketing committed by their ‘guests,’ where I was almost a victim had it not for my son’s alertness, Oslo is generally peaceful….and clean.
Considered the most peaceful and the safest place in Europe, if not in the whole world, living in Norway, however, has its price. The cost of living is high and considered the most expensive. An hour ride in Oslo’s public transport costs 20 kroner (about four dollars) the same with a cup of tea. (Price rate was during our stay there two years ago and I have heard the price has gone up). But what is money in exchange for peace? There, you can sleep with unlocked doors, you can walk in the street worry-free, the locals are friendly and accommodating; the surroundings are essentially clean and safe. The champion of peace (Oslo is home to Nobel Peace) and humanitarian assistance, it was very ironic that an incident that resulted to too many deaths and massive devastation occurred in this peaceful country. And it has become doubly ironic because the suspect was a Norwegian himself. While others pray that it was plain “lunatic” action, the degree of devastation and loss of lives were unimaginable. What would drive a native citizen of a peaceful country, that provides good social services, among them free education and hospitalization, commit that dastardly act? Can a single person capable of committing such crime with the same magnitude? Norway, aside from being safe and clean, is also among the most liberal countries in the world. Media is uncensored. Information facilities are well in placed and easily accessible, and the state is generally accommodating to immigrants. In a group of school children having their walking activities, you would notice that there are more children of different descent than native Norwegians. With a mere population of less or over five million, some 15 percent are naturalized-born Norwegians. Cross-cultural exchanges and the uncensored flood of information would have probably influenced the suspect in doing his ‘dastardly acts.’ The recent spate of mass actions in Africa and the Middle East would have influenced him; he tested how his country would react on such kind of violence. I wish it was simply an adventure on the part of the suspect. Or I can say there is no longer safe place to stay. Even our own home is sometimes unsafe to stay… To the people of Norway and Oslo, the place which I still miss despite having left the city two years ago, may you regain the peace and orderliness that I have learned to love. I miss my cozy nook near Aker Brygge where I used to do my reading and writing during sunny days. I miss walking along that street of Karl Johann on my way to school. And I remember sitting on a bench in front of the local newspaper building adjacent to the Prime Minister’s office, where a bronze statue of a man reading newspaper was located. My son and I also used to play snow in front of the Prime Minister’s office on our way home after attending the evening mass at the St. Olav Cathedral, located some meters away from the incident. May those affected by the heinous event found solace in the arms of our Unseen protector and Redeemer. People like wine ages, the only difference is as wine ages, it tastes better while man becomes bitter...Cheers everyone...life is too short to sulk.....G
In losing, we gain something, in giving; we receive in return. What we gain and what we receive are, however, relative. They depend on how hard and how much we have given up. Nothing goes and comes easy. After over 20 years of emotional, mental and physical challenges in nurturing my three children, I am now reaping the fruits of my labor. I have wonderful children who are responsible, loving, healthy, and each endowed with distinct beauty and talent. My two elder daughters are through with their university studies and are now working. They are lucky to be admitted in separate universities to take further studies, for free. My youngest son will be taking his master’s course in a year. All my hardships have paid up. While it was not solely my effort, I can confidently say that I was always there during their difficult times. Rearing them took all my time; I have to give up my career. Resigning from my job was among the hardest decisions I made. So as not to miss working, I considered every day as Saturday, my day off. I kept myself busy by becoming a hands-on mom. I nursed them (my eldest for eight months and the second and third for two years), guided them on their first steps and taught them how to speak, how to read and how to write. More than a mom, I was their first friend, first playmate and first teacher. Moving and living from and in different places is not easy; I also have to go through the same adjustments my children have experienced. And it was doubly hard because I have to help them in coping with our new environments, adopting to the new cultures and even in making new friends. But events have taken a different turn now. Before they will seek my advice on almost about anything, now they are my confidants, my advisers and my best friends. Their hugs comfort me, their words add to my wisdom and their affections make me feel important. They have developed sensitivity you do not have to tell them what you feel. They can feel my frustrations. They know when I lost my enthusiasm in doing almost everything I love; writing, going out and making friends. And during my trying times, they provide the moral support, the love, and the care I need that are difficult and can hardly get from others. They keep my mind off from my frustrations; they laugh with me, they sing with me, they dance with me; they make fun with and of me. They even help me draw plans how to keep me busy and how to realize my dreams. And talking about dreams, my daughters accomplished my dream of having a good camera. I have flair for photography; I use my mobile phone camera in taking pictures after my digicam became outdated. They gifted me with a DSLR camera which they bought with their own salaries. And it does not stop there. In a week’s time, I will be flying to Prague, one of my dream cities, and embark on a four-night three-day lone tour. They arranged for my flight and hotel accommodation and cover all the expenses. I am proud of my children; they never give up on me. I like to believe that what had happened was the work of Unseen Hands… that I have to lose and give up a big part of me for my children to gain and receive the benefits… That returns, I finally realized, should not necessarily come to us but to the people we love. But I am luckier still....they share to me their blessings that are more than the things I have lost and given up. |
AuthorA mother, an aunt, a sister and a friend, they embody Archives
February 2014
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