Happy birthday Xy…. Our moderator and mediator and true to be the eldest among my children, Xylem is a big sister, literally and figuratively (hehehe) to her siblings (though sometimes she is more childish) and to me. We have gone through lots of challenges and funs that make us and continue to become closer. Our relationship is beyond being mom and daughter, we are friends, and we share what is in our minds and in our hearts. But despite the “cool” relationship we have, there is still that boundary that she should not cross. I remain her mom and regardless of the independence she now enjoys, respect is high in our family values. At her tender age, Xylem had already showed her assertiveness and being demanding. In school, she joined a poetry contest and told me that I should be there during her turn. Unfortunately, I came late, she was very mad she said she was looking at the crowd and did not see me. And there was a time I failed to tell her I am going to buy groceries, upon arriving home, she approached me and said she has also her needs I should have asked her first before I did my shopping. But unlike other first child, she did not grow up as a spoiled brat. Immediately when she could reach the sink, I started teaching her how to wash plates. I let her carry her own bag and fix her things although we have a driver and a nanny who attend and look after her. She’s more meticulous than me at home, she would spend the whole day sorting things out until she gets the finish that she wanted and she does it on her own. She continue to love to wash plates, probably because that was the first chore I taught her. Delivering her in this world was a struggle, after laboring for 10 hours, she was too stubborn to leave my tummy the doctors have to induce me and use forceps to pull her out. But after the enduring pain and several huffs and puffs, I managed to give a big sigh of relief and told myself, we made it, especially when the doctor placed her on my chest. But relief, it was not, in taking care of her. She’s a very hyper active girl she only stop playing and moving around when she is asleep. There was a time she made everybody in the house nervous, she got lost. We found her on top of the roof; she scaled the window grills until she reached the top. She was four years old. And it was difficult to feed her, she was very slow to eat she will always test your patience. This, however, did not last long, when she learned to eat on her own; she developed a sweet tooth I have to control her. And it is true until now…..hahaha Looking back how she came to the this world, I am always reminded that for every decision we make, though sometimes we may lose something in the process, our choices will always make us different. Her coming into being taught me how to be brave, how to be tough and made me understand that being a mom is a joy that even the toughest challenge would not stop you from becoming one. Love you Xy…..
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Twenty years ago today, I gave birth to a baby boy whom we called Bj. He came out ahead of his schedule, he was not fully developed, his feet were soft, and they looked like empty pouches. He has also jaundice, his eyes were yellow, his skin was yellow and he does not want to take my milk. He would cry the whole night; I was very worried I do not know what to do. Luckily, my doctor gave me a very efficient nurse who looked after him. She would spoon-feed him with water, his only sustenance after birth, and look after him while I am recovering from my delivery. And good riddance, it was summer when I delivered him. The sun served as his incubator for a week. His nurse will come to the house everyday and at early morning, she would undress him, cover his eyes and for an hour, she will sit in the balcony with my baby and sun bathe him. I would watch them from the door as she patiently turn my baby from time to time, expose him to the sun and make sure he got enough of the sun’s heat. She did it for a week and slowly, his yellow skin fades, the eyes started to become brighter and one thing good, he started to take my milk. It was a very trying period, had it not for the nurse’s assistance, I do not know what to do and how to handle him. It was a struggle doing the nurse’s routine when she stopped coming. But my patience paid off, his feet started to develop muscles and the yellow color totally fades away. He mellowed, he does not cry too much and started to take my milk regularly. As he grew up, he developed an attitude, he would cry until he turns black. I could run down the 13-steps of our stairs whenever he cries , bring him to the garden to get some air. I was worried, I thought he has a heart problem; we consulted a doctor at the Australian Embassy clinic. I was advised he needs spanking, it was just his way of getting my attention. The doctor advised me to whisk water on his face whenever he cries. And true enough, every time he starts to cry, I would take him close to the sink and immediately he would stop. A naughty boy indeed. He grew up to be a sweet boy though. He loves to sing and narrate stories, in Burmese language, as early as two years old. Frog is his favorite subject he could tell anything about the frog to the delight of his favorite nanny, Lily, an efficient Indian girl who I could trust to look after my children whenever I have to attend some functions. He is also a tough guy. At six years old, he started to play Taekwondo. I never thought he would grow up to be a good kicker, what with his empty feet. I was at first afraid to watch him join the competition, I would hide not to see him play. But he turned out to be a good player and at an early age, he became a champion. He is a black belter when we left Riyadh in 2004 but was demoted to yellow by his coach in Laguna. However, despite his low rank, he won the gold during the Milo Olympics in 2005 and in several competitions he was fielded. During his one fight in Oslo, his coach was surprised when he subdued his opponent who was bigger than him. “You kicked like a horse,” he told him after the competition. At his tender age, just like his siblings, Bj grew up to be responsible and sensible. We were together during my trying times. He was my refuge and my ally, he would defend me from his dad. We are always together and the longest we were separated was when I went to Denmark for two week. And on the period I have to leave longer to visit Xy and Bar, he told me, “Mama, when you leave, I will study how to play the guitar so I can play your favorite song when you return.” And he did! He played one of my favorite songs or rather the only song I can play in the guitar without looking at the chord book… Four Strong Winds upon my arrival. I felt great I was the reason why he studied to play the guitar. I have been cajoling him to study like his sisters but to no avail. From then on, we find time to sing together.... I also always have a hug whenever he comes home from school. And if at times he won't see or hear from me when he comes, he would immediately go to my room and if I am not home, he will call and send me an SMS. He remains sweet until now. When I got sick, after I was discharged from the hospital, he drove me around Stockholm and took me to the lake where he and his friends frequent. He wants me to get a breath of fresh air. And one time while we were strolling inside a mall in Doha, I told him to buy me a signature bag when he gets employed and starts earning which he replied “I’ll rather buy you your retirement home than those bags!” He is stubborn at times, if not always. He only does what he wants, but he is caring. He does not allow me to do tedious household chores; he would do them for me. When I hurt my leg after an altercation with his dad, he nursed and massaged my leg until I get better. Though he grew up in the most unusual Filipino family set up and environment, Bj still keep the values of being respectful and responsible. He has learned how to handle his emotions, track his own life and live the life he wanted. We may not be together this time but I still look forward to spending more precious moments with him; singing together, driving me around to places and fun of tickling and making fun of each other. Happy birthday Pogs! Mama misses you…miss the hugs and your company. Be focused! I wish you good health and that you realize all you dreams. Love you always! |
AuthorA mother, an aunt, a sister and a friend, they embody Archives
February 2014
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