Independence came early to Xylem and Barbie. Only in their teens, (Xylem, 18 and Barbie, 17,) they were left to tend on their own in Manila in 2007 while attending their university studies. They did their own marketing, managed the household and budget their allowances.
They were left with a stiff “instruction” that any deviance from their studies would mean a stop on financial support. Their privilege to grow as normal individuals was not, however, curtailed. They partied, went to places with their friends, have their boyfriends. They have more fun which I believed other children of strict parents failed to enjoy than they did. I was also a strict mom though, not just strict but a fierce mom. During their younger years, my fangs and claws were always ready to parry any predator that would prey on them. And like mother hen, I always keep them under my wings to protect and shield them from any harm and danger. But being protective has limits. As they grow up, I gradually distanced myself from providing “physical” protection. I started helping them acquire skills and values and motivated them to become responsible and independent individuals. They became aware that they are solely responsible for their own future. Nobody, not even we, their parents, can secure their good future. And I always remind them that while others professed that they love them, no one and nobody will love them truly except themselves. I know I can trust them and true enough, Xylem and Barbie managed their own lives, they knew their priorities and worked on them. They finished their studies without much glitch. But that was just one phase of their life. They lived comfortably in a flat which we own and with financial support from their dad. They did not have to worry where to get money to pay the utility bills, to buy food and even for their shopping spree and gimmicks. This time, Xy and Bar started their journey towards total independence. They pay their bills, buy their food, and attend to their needs. They are now on their own, away, in a foreign land, with no relatives around. It was a mixed feeling leaving them this time. The fact that Sweden is a safer place compared to the Philippines did not ease my worries. When before, my major worry was they might go wayward and fail to finish their studies, this time it’s a confluence of many fears and apprehensions. Can they manage financially, what if their earning is just enough to cover their basic needs; do they have to work harder to survive? What if they get sick, who will look after them? I don’t know, maybe my worries are unfounded but then again, having gone through some difficulties myself when I started living on my own, I can’t help myself from feeling this way. But anyway, I believe Xy and Bar are very much capable of living in their own now. They have proven it before, I am confident. they will make much better, this time.
1 Comment
Katrin Desiree F. Hernandez
11/1/2012 09:24:25 pm
What a nice story.. this is the right way of raising a child. I salute you tita.
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AuthorA mother, an aunt, a sister and a friend, they embody Archives
February 2014
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